Whatever it Takes
by change-it-all
Summary: With Tavros Nitram's world crashing and burning, he finds himself relocated to a new home; the Royal Darling Hospital. Meanwhile cancer patient, Gamzee Makara, is falling deeper down into a hole of anger and violence. When the two meet, as patients of the long term ward, sparks will fly. AU Humanstuck/sadstuck WARNING: Adult themes
1. The clown

'_Nobody really knows how or why he works so hard  
It seems like he's never got time  
Because he writes every note and he writes every line'  
_

"Mr Nitram?"

'_And I've seen him at work when that light goes on in his mind__  
__It's like a design is written in his head every time  
Before he even touches a key or speaks in a rhyme'_

"Tavros!" The small headphone was plucked out with a gentle 'pop'.

"Uh… I… What?"

"Doctor Firmer was asking you about your progress" The look on the tired mother's face was one that Tavros Nitram often received, that exasperated expression. He always played ignorance, but it was becoming harder to ignore the tremor in her hands whenever she was in the small room.

"Progress? Um… yeah... okay. Well I… uh… I can do this thing…" He began in his usual stutter.

"He has being doing the required exercises that you recommended and we have been working on getting in and out of the chair recently."

The 15 year old was getting used to his mother being his answering machine. It made his check-ups run smoother and saved them time.

"Good, good." The silver haired doctor looked over the edge of his clip board down at him and gave that reassuring half smile he did with most of his patients. "And have you been experiencing any stiffness in your abdominal muscles?"

"Sometimes I get this… this little… uh twinge…"

"He is a little tense in his stomach from the medication but other than that, nothing at all." Mrs Nitram tucked a strand of her mousy hair behind her ear before reaching her hand out open along the mattress. Her son didn't hesitate to take her palm in his and hold it against the sheets at his side. The two adults chattered away about dosage and new 'experimental' pain killers as Tavros reached across his arm and gathered up the headphone again. He slid it into his ear and leaned back on the pale mattress. He remained that way until his presence in the room was merely a tiny blip.

His attention was slowly drawn back out the window once more as the pulse of the music filled his head. The teenager had come to the conclusion that his participation in these weekly conversations never really made a difference to him because whatever they chose to do, all he could do was sit back and try to enjoy the ride. The view wasn't all spectacular; in fact, it was a rather dull outlook onto the hospital courtyard. He traced his eyes down the skeletal branches that of the unnecessary tree planted in the middle. The cold arms of the winter season had shaken the leaves from its body, letting them drift to the benches circled underneath it. From the large window he could make out the shapes of the top of people's heads as they passed below, their footsteps making their heads bobble like tiny clouds.

Tavros's gaze was drawn back to his mother as she shifted. He watched her shake hands with the doctor and lean forward over the bed's metal railing. She kissed him lightly on the forehead, gave a short smile and said something that was blurred out by the thrum of the music. It was probably the parting words she usually used like 'See you tomorrow, sweetheart' or 'Daddy will pop in later; I love you'.

"Love you," he said with a tight smile that he held until the chamber was clear. When the door clicked shut the entire room almost gave a sigh in relief. Whenever doctors or his family were around, Tavros Nitram put on a brave face.

Once he was alone however…

He slipped his nimble hand underneath the pillow supporting his back and fished around. With a bit of an awkward shuffle, Tavros managed to slip out something that was keeping him entertained during his, what seemed like eternity, stay at the Royal Darling Hospital. The Nintendo screen came to life in his finger tips and the display screen lit up every angle of the boy's slightly pudgy face. He tapped the stylus over the touch screen and soon entered the game. Even though he couldn't hear it, Tavros knew that the high strung notes of the Pokémon Pearl theme song were playing in the background. It wasn't the perfect escape but it was just what the accident-prone adolescent needed.

Tavros was no different from any other kid, besides his habitual uncertainty when he spoke, and finding a way to deal with every situation. A few months ago, on the day that the teenage boy had a sudden hit with reality, his instincts were there to tell him not to panic. The accident hit his entire family like a shock wave, sending all who stood near it into distress. It was strange how it was his loss, but everyone else's tragedy. Of course, Tavros wasn't one to break down. To him, it was just another situation to surpass and as they say in an awful current pop song: 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'.

The screen dulled for a few moments as the character entered a cave, allowing him to see his reflection on the touch screen. Brown eyes stared back at him on a tanned face and he pouted his lip forward, pulling a face. He scrunched up his nose and bloated his cheeks, giggling at the fish-like expression.

"One day the wind will change your face will stay like that." A very astute voice chimed over the harsh rapping pouring through his ears. Tavros dropped the expression, feeling a slight heat rise in his face when he noticed he had company. He dropped the game and yanked the headphones out.

"Oh… uh… hello Miss Maryam"

With a roll of her deep emerald eyes, the pale nurse slid the door wide open and rolled in Tavros's only way of self-mobility.

"I have reminded you on numerous occasions, Tavros, address me as Kanaya. There is no obligation to be so formal." The wheels of the chair spun slowly as he pushed it along the carpeted floor, squeaking slightly as it came to a stop beside his bed.

"Sorry… Miss… uh… I mean… Kanaya" He gave the tall nurse an apologetic smile which she didn't receive. Her dark skirt drifted behind her as she fussed around the room. Unlike Tavros, the way she moved was graceful and she spoke like she had a PHD in Literature. A question Tavros often found himself thinking was how his brilliant nurse even ended up working in a hospital when she seemed more suited to writing great sonnets and epic poetry. Everything about the young woman screamed neat and tidy, her short cropped hair always bouncing perfectly around her neck and not a thread of her uniform out of place. She spun back sharply and strode towards his bed.

"I think it is needless to inform you of where you are desired," Kanaya said and stepped around the wheelchair to Tavros's bedside. She pulled the wheelchair close so it was bumping her knees and wrapped an arm around her charge's side.

"I can…uh…do it myself" Tavros chucked his iPod and hand held beside him and tried to brush her away. He shifted his hips, wiggling awkwardly to the side of the bed and reached out, grabbing both legs and dragging them back in line with his body as he prepared to lower himself down onto the chair.

"Please, Tavros. It is my responsibility to assist you in practises such as this." Kanaya slid her arms underneath Tavros's knees and then around his torso. His weight shifted from the bed and onto her and he clung to her neck. Gently, she sank him into the seat. He leaned back on the leather support as she placed his legs in front of him comfortably.

"Thanks Miss-"

"Kanaya."

"Yes…Miss." The conversation between the two dropped from there. Tavros folded his arms on his chest and looked down at his knees. Every time he sat in the chair he felt that everything from his waist down was useless; fragile. His thighs almost clung together through the cotton of his grey sweat pants and his knee caps bumped into one another when they went over a bump. He stroked his palm out over his left thigh, adding a slight pressure. No reaction as usual.

"Do I haftah… do the… um… work and all?" He angled his head back, looking up at her as she wheeled him down the hallway. They passed by other doors, the numbers printed on them going down gradually. His ward was filled with kids and teenagers in similar situations, some less serious, others not. He didn't really get much of a chance to socialise with anyone unless they visited him or he was being moved to another room so his friend count was at an all-time low.

"Of course. You want to be able to make use of yourself."

"But… everyone else uh, pushes me around…" he argued.

"Are you not familiar with the Chinese proverb: 'Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime'?" She kept her eyes straight ahead as they approached the elevator. Her slender finger pressed the button marked 'G' for ground floor and waited.

Tavros sighed heavily. "It's so much…work." He felt a warm hand pat his shoulder.

"Fear not. Once you have improved you are free to go back home with your family and resume your everyday life just as before." His nurse's choice of comforting words weren't really as uplifting as she had thought. Tavros leaned his head on his closed fist, supporting himself on his elbow. The elevator arrived with a cheerful 'ding' and the doors glided open.

Kanaya was right; she was always right. Tavros braced himself against the wind as they made their way outside and onto the smooth bricks that made the court yard floor. Tavros tilted his head up, tracing his gaze up the building walls and into the sky. Cloudy weather once again with little gaps of sunlight streaking through. He wouldn't be so unenthusiastic about learning how to work a wheel chair if it didn't take place in the Rehabilitation Centre. It was a small building he could see from his window with very few windows. It stretched out along the bottom floor, each room with a different purpose. The department he was heading for was built for patients with similar conditions. The floor was decked out with ramps and rails; not to mention other physio equipment.

The automatic doors buzzed open and they were swallowed up once again.

Kanaya wheeled him towards the receptionist. "Tavros Nitram booked in for the 12.45."

The blonde behind the high desk didn't need to look up from the computer screen. "Yes, down the hall to the right."

"Thank-you."

They were moving again, down the brightly lit hallway. Tavros noticed a few familiar faces and some new ones. The thing about hospitals was that no one stayed there forever; there was always someone coming and another going.

"The schedule requires that you work on the ramps today." Kanaya swiped her access card along the scanner and the door at the end of the hallway unlocked. She leaned forward and pushed through, wheeling Tavros into the Prosthetics and Wheelchair Unit. There was something about this department that made him feel uneasy. He had a theory that it had something to do with the intimidating ramps and downright gloomy atmosphere it always held.

"Ramps?" Tavros whimpered. Out of all the basic training he had to do, ramps were the hardest. It required all his upper body strength just to concur a minor slope, let alone the actual standard one.

"Ah, remember what I quoted earlier?"

"The guy with the… uh… fish?"

"Correct." Kanaya angled the chair towards the smallest ramp. It went on a 45 degree angle, flat and then back down to the ground. Simple enough at first glance. Tavros moved his hands down to grip the top of the wheels, his palms growing sweaty. He threw her one more desperate glance.

"Can't we… uh… do you know… finger stretches or something…"

"Do not be ridiculous. I have observed you do this before." Kanaya reached into her pocket for her smart phone.

"Yeah but… I kinda… uh… fell back last time." Tavros's eyes darted back and forth from Kanaya's calm face to the ramp.

"You did not fall back. I prevented that from happening." The screen buzzed to life at her finger tips and she opened up her email. She often took notes to email to the Dr Firmer during the three hours they had in the unit.

"B-but what if I do?"

"Then I will be right here to catch you." Kanaya's lips spread into a smile, exposing each and every one of her perfectly straight teeth. "Now proceed."

Tavros bit his lip. It seemed that almost every set of eyes was on him now. The other patients were mostly working with prosthetic limbs on the walking bars at the opposite end of the room and there was a young man finishing up his wheelchair course. There was never a crowd but there were always spectators, wondering when will be the day that little Tavros Nitram will conquer the ramp. Perhaps today would be that day.

He gripped the wheels and pushed forward. The wheelchair edged towards the slope and he felt his back begin to tilt. He pushed again, his arms burning from the strain and the chair started to climb. Little grunts tumbled from Tavros's lips as his muscles screamed in protest.

"That's it. Keep going," Kanaya's voice coaxed from not far behind him. Tavros pushed again, the chair jolting up towards the edge. Just one more push. The boy's frame slung forward as his hands slipped.

"KANAYA!" He let out a gasp as he felt the world rushing in his ears and his stomach leap. The fall was not a long one; Kanaya was already gripping onto the handle bars behind his head.

A shameful squeak escaped his lips as he struggled to catch his breath. "Be calm. Everything is under control". With much caution, Tavros felt his nurse guide him down the ramp and onto the floor. She let out a breath she seemed to be holding in for a long time.

"Easy now. Inhale and exhale." The nurse mumbled, mostly to herself, and released her iron grip on the bars. She stepped back and straightened up, brushing out the crinkles in her white blouse.

"I… Miss Maryam… I am really…"

She held up a hand. "Nonsense. There is still far more practice to be done. There is no shame in trying."

Tavros nodded. At that moment, he wanted to turn into the pet tortoise his family had back at home and just curl back up into his shell and never come out for days. The spectators in the room muffled chuckles behind their hands. The 15-year-old's cheeks turned a stunning red intense enough that he could feel it burn his skin. He swallowed dryly and ran a hand through his dark mohawk of hair. His bottom lip trembled dangerously. He didn't bother looking up when a shrill beep sliced through the silence.

Kanaya unclipped the pager attached to the hem of her skirt and held it up on her palm.

"Oh, marvellous," she groaned sarcastically. The good nurse knelt on one knee before Tavros, taking his cheek in her palm and directing him to look at her. Tavros's little teeth bit into his lip as he came face to face with the pretty young woman. "Now don't you acknowledge those who mock you, Tavros." Her voice was stern, absolutely serious. She cast a glare over her shoulder at the teen that was mimicking Tavros's squeal to one of his mates. "Are you alright?"

Tavros stared down at his sandals and nodded weakly, far too bashful to speak.

Kanaya offered him a pleasant smile. "I have just been alerted that my assistance is needed elsewhere. Mrs Harley has gotten herself stuck in her bathtub again." She stood, dropping her hand and placing it over his head. She stuck her fingers through his hair and ruffled it. "I won't be long."

Tavros raised his chin to watch her stride off elegantly down the hallway. Even when he could walk himself, he never moved like that. Kanaya didn't ever walk; her movements were far too exquisite for that. The way she moved resembled a dancer, turning and gliding around a stage. Tavros wasn't that type. He was awkward, clumsy and never confident. It was a trait his sisters would tease him about and his sporting coaches would look down upon and currently, the patients in the room were snickering to themselves about. He glared at the ramp. It was just a ramp, nothing more and nothing less and he couldn't even make it to the top. He couldn't even give Kanaya some hope that he wasn't completely incompetent.

"Not this time."

Tavros swayed his hips from side to side, building enough momentum to align himself with the slope. He bit down hard on his lip, enough to taste little spurts of copper. He gripped both wheels and gave a mighty yank. The wheelchair sped forward and he held his breath as his back began to tilt. Again, he shoved the chair on, making sure to do it in time. He pressed aside the burning sensation tearing up his muscles and his lungs screaming for air. The teen's stomach flipped when he almost lost his grip but he didn't let go. _Come on, one more. One more is all it takes_.

His frame rocked forward and his arms feel lank against him. The edge of the wheelchair drifted into a halt at the top of the ramp. Tavros breathed in and out rapidly, his heart racing like a startled rabbit's. He looked around him, staring back at the bewildered faces and then, a smile built up over his lip.

"Yes!" He threw both arms up in triumph. With a lick of his lips, Tavros punched the air again, laughing giddily to himself. "Haha! Yes!" He didn't care if that the others rolled their eyes at his celebration. All he cared about was the fact that he tried and for once, he had actually done it.

But the celebration didn't last for long.

The back of the chair dipped and Tavros barely had enough time to grab hold of the arm rests before the chair came rocketing backwards down the slant. The air bit at the back of his neck and he clamped his eyes shut, praying to whatever mighty being was up there to not let his chair overturn.

The air rushed out of his lungs as the chair came crashing back onto the floor. For a moment he felt weightless when it bounced and clattered, skidding along the lino and towards the door. Tavros was surprised to find that the thing to stop him wasn't a wall. There was a short squeak and this time, it didn't come from him.

"You fucking jackass!" squealed a female voice, high and scratchy. Defiantly not Kanaya's. "You little prick!" The chair was kicked around; Tavros spinning back to come dead on with a very angered bandaged face. His little heart thudded in his chest and pumped through his ears. The girl didn't leave him any time to apologise when she lashed out, kicking the wheel of the chair and sending him back. Tavros gripped onto the wheels, preventing the chair from ramming into the equipment.

Tavros gazed up fearfully at the patient. He hadn't seen her around before and he definitely would have remembered if he had. Her spiky dark locks hung over half of her face, doing nothing to conceal the pale bandage wrapping around her head. Her pretty features twisted into a snarl as her hand clenched up into a tight fist. The most striking feature of this girl was the fact that she only had one arm. The elbow on the opposite side of her body ended in a fleshy nub that was draped with bindings.

"I… I am so… uh…" Tavros's tongue felt like a heavy flap, churning uselessly in his mouth. He flinched when she stepped closer, balling a fist up of his shirt.

"Say that again," she dared him, locking her sharp blue eye with his.

"Please… don't hurt me…" His voice came out as a whimper. She blinked, something in her gaze becoming soft. However, whatever emotion she suddenly felt passed quickly because she was soon shoving him back. Tavros curled his arms over his head, shutting his eyes and waiting for the first hit. There were a few seconds where Tavros felt his entire body tense. A few more and he didn't know what to expect. He was sure that the girl, whoever she was, wasn't done with him.

"Time to step back, motherfucker."

The voice sent a chill down Tavros's spine. A set of footsteps could be heard stepping in front of him but he dared not come out of from beneath his arms.

"What are you doing here?" the girl snapped back. The way she spoke wasn't so confident; the sharp edge to her tone had gone blunt. Tavros slowly opened his eyes. Timidly, he let his arms drop back. He stared up at a tall figure dressed in a dark hood and strange spotted pants. He peered around at the teenager. Her expression was anxious and her eyes showed no sign of looking away at whoever was standing between them.

"Leave him."

It wasn't a request. The husky tone was not threatening ,and yet, at the same time, was utterly and completely forceful. And just as he asked it, the one eyed girl took a step back. Her final persuasion was one word.

"Vriska."

Tavros caught her eye for a second and she gave him a dirty look before turning on her heel with a huff and storming out of the room. Tavros tilted his chin up at the boy. The hood of his jacket covered his head and concealed his skin and face. Tavros wasn't sure whether he had been saved, or he was in deeper shit than he was before. He gulped loudly and placed his hands over his thighs, drumming his fingers anxiously.

Tavros finally built up enough courage to murmur. "Uh… Thank-you… for that."

The boy didn't move at first. Tavros was starting to think that he hadn't heard him until the teenager slowly turned his head. Tavros's jaw dropped and his fingers clasped tightly over his skin. Now he knew why the girl had backed down.

A clown face smirked back at him through dark hair.

"Welcome to the dark carnival brother."


	2. Unusual

"Name's Gamzee, motherfucker." He slid a bony hand out from his jacket pocket and held it out in a tight fist just in front of Tavros. A white glob was sealed underneath a plastic patch that clung to the top of the boy's hand.

"Uh…hi…I'm, uh, Tavros…Nitram." Tavros reached up, unsure of what Gamzee meant, taking his closed fist into his hand and shaking it. The taller teen peered down through his lowered eye lids, his half-hearted smirk slowly twisting into a grin, exposing slightly yellowed teeth. His painted lips pushed against the transparent cord that wrapped around the bottom of his face and stuck into his nostrils. Tavros followed the cord around the boy's high cheek bones, to his ears and then finally disappearing into his wild mass of dark hair. Gamzee took his hand away and peeped through his bangs, laying his grey sunken eyes on the boy in the wheelchair.

"Where have you been hiding, motherfucker?" he said teasingly. His voice was gravelly and low. He slouched down, leaning over to be level with Tavros's eye level.

Tavros shot back in his chair, trying desperately to create a bigger space between them. He blinked rapidly and attempted to find a place to look that wasn't on the boy invading his personal space. "I… I haven't been uh… hiding."

"Never seen ya around before." He cocked his head to the side. Gamzee's lazy eyes analysed Tavros and the boy squirmed under his gaze.

"Oh! Yeah… I'm uh… I'm new." If Tavros had leant forward he would bump noses with the painted face. He reached down and grabbed clumsily at the wheels, forcing the chair to slide back awkwardly. Gamzee's idiotic grin slung out into an almost comedic frown. He straightened up, but still left his shoulders slouched over. The tense silence of the room announced itself when Tavros glanced around and noticed that they were alone. There was something about Gamzee Makara that gave him the ability to clear a room that was slightly confusing. Aside from the fact that, yes, Gamzee had his face coated grey and white, he resembled Tavros's old dog Toby, the Saint Bernard with droopy eyes and a pleasant aspect.

Tavros scratched at the back of his head. "Wh-why are you uh…in this ward? You uh… don't have any uh…problems like me?"

There must've been something that Gamzee found amusing in the sentence because the grin returned. "Bro, I have got a lot of problems. A wheelchair ain't one though." He gave a low chuckle that reminded Tavros of the purr of a motor being brought to life. He didn't really know what was so funny but he put on a weak smile and attempted laughing too.

"So… how did you uh… get here?"

Tavros watched Gamzee turn and walk away and for a second he had thought that Gamzee had lost interest. His eyes followed the lanky teenager over to one of the wooden railings used to rehabilitate patients with walking difficulties. Gamzee gave a little jump and sat up onto it, the bar bending slightly under his weight. Tavros shoved his chair forward in a quick jerky movement, attempting to follow him.

"I'm here 'cause I can be, Tav," Gamzee said with his back to the smaller boy.

"How uh… did you get in… though? I mean… it's ah… all key card accessed…"

Gamzee leaned back and his body swung down, narrowly missing Tavros's chair. He hung upside down with his legs looped over the bar. His purple shirt and dark hoodie fell with him, exposing his narrow, pale stomach. Tavros could make out thin blue veins highlighting the boy's flesh. There wasn't a single curve on him besides the hipbones that jutted out at his sides. Tavros let out a squeak that he hoped Gamzee didn't hear when he noticed something shine up at him. Hanging proudly off the skinny boy's belly button was a silver ring that pierced his skin. A black ball dangled from the shiny loop, clinking softly against the metal.

"Not if you have this little motherfucker here." Tavros tore his eyes away from the piercing to look at the plastic card hanging from around his neck and resting on the underside of his chin. Although it was difficult, Tavros was able to make out the bar code and I.D card, similar to the one that his carer had.

"And your carer just… gave it to you?"

Gamzee chuckled again and, like before, Tavros failed to see the humour in it. Only then this time he didn't laugh along.

"You are one funny motherfucker."

"I'm…funny?" Tavros repeated.

"I'm smiling, aren't I?" Gamzee snickered, his stomach muscles rippling underneath his skin.

"Oh uh…why is that?" Tavros sat back in his chair and watched as Gamzee's grip on the bars slowly came undone. His long arms went straight above his head as he dropped. He flopped to the ground and almost immediately sagged onto the floor like a slug. He pulled himself back up into a sitting position, resting his back against the wall and looking up at Tavros through his tangles of hair. He lifted up a leg and prodded his toe against Tavros's foot. The purple and white converse nudged his sock covered toes with no real effort. Kanaya's biggest peeve about Tavros's fashion sense was his habit to wear socks and sandals.

"I can't even move my…uh…feet. No one will be looking… at them," Tavros had whined.

"That doesn't mean you sport such unpleasant attire like some dingy hipster," was Kanaya's sharp response, although she did not press the subject further.

"So…how long have you…uh… been here? At the hospital?" Tavros found it necessary to keep up the conversation. He couldn't feel the prodding on his foot so there was no point in asking him to stop.

"Hmmm… I would think for about… since I was 14, motherfucker."

"And uh… how old are you now?"

"18 summers bro"

Tavros bobbled his head. Four years here would drive him insane, no wonder he had his face painted. Gamzee was the one to break the silence this time.

"Sweet chair, motherfucker."

"You think?"

"Yeah, if my old man were here… you would say 'did you know the hardest part of a vegetable to eat is the wheelchair?'" At first Tavros didn't get the joke, but when he did, his face dropped and he gave Gamzee a rather horrified look. The teenager's face screwed up into a toothy grin and he barked out a laugh, sagging back against the wall.

"That is uh… an awful joke… Gamzee," Tavros muttered, though Gamzee couldn't hear him. He was coiled up at his feet, clinging onto his sides as he laughed like a maniac. It wasn't the joke that made Tavros join in. It was the fact that Gamzee really did represent a deranged lunatic of a clown. Tavros snorted and cupped a hand over his mouth. He shouldn't be laughing, he really shouldn't, but it was hard not to.

"You should come get your hang out on at my ward, Tavbro," Gamzee drawled, letting his head tilt back against the wall. His eye lids sagged and he folded his hands comfortably over his chest, letting out a content sigh. "We could listen to some rhymes, eat some pie… and then maybe make out a little."

Tavros had kissed before, but none of them were guys and certainly no one that he had only known for a half hour or so. He cocked his head up at the boy staring off into space. Gamzee's lips, like the rest of his skin, were pale and looked cold to touch. They were curled up into a deranged day-dreamy grin that caused them to crack at the corners. A smudged line of grey face paint highlighted the gap between where his lips met the inside of his mouth. He imagined kissing the bizarre patient would taste like dye; tangy and artificial. Tavros shook his head as if to throw the thoughts from his mind. There was no reason to even consider it. He decided that Gamzee was probably just using that odd sense of humour of his again. He glanced over at the clock ticking away above the door.

"I, uh… I have to go."

Gamzee didn't react although Tavros was sure that he had heard him.

"Uh… will I uh… see you again… tomorrow?"

With a tilt of his head, Gamzee took a deep breath in, a slight sucking noise coming through the thin pipes. He turned the question over in his head; _will he see me again tomorrow?_ Gamzee's thin body arched as he rocked up onto his feet, standing tall over Tavros once again.

"Yes. I hope so motherfucker." Fingers dragged lazily along Tavros's stripe of dark brown hair as Gamzee passed by. "Sure hope so."

And just as promised Gamzee was there the next day and the day after that and the day after that, sitting up against the wall with that goofy expression. They said so much and told very little over the next week that they knew each other. It was almost as if Gamzee was a ghost. No-one in the ward seemed to know anything about him, let alone wanted to talk about him. Tavros didn't mind that Gamzee was alone. In all honesty, he felt that it made it easier for him to relate to. Whenever he put his mind to it, he found it funny how he wasn't alone in a lonely place. Gamzee was bored of watching Tavros attempt to swerve is chair in and out through orange cones so he came up with a brilliant idea. Tavros, of course, was hesitant on agreeing but Gamzee had made up his mind. When Kanaya left to visit the bathroom, Gamzee took the window of opportunity.

"We are going to… uh… get caught… you know" Tavros said, gripping on tightly to the chair's arm rests. Gamzee pushed Tavros along, out the door and into the midday sun that flooded the court yard.

"Aw Tav. Haven't you ever done something wild?"

"Uh… yeah… kinda how I ended up in this thing… in the uh… first place"

"Second times the charm, motherfucker" Gamzee broke into a run, his bare feet slapping the pavement at a rapid pace. All Tavros could do was squeeze his eyes shut and hope that Gamzee knew how to steer. As the teen behind him ran, the chair picked up speed until Tavros could feel the wind beat against his face. "Open up them eyes Tav, you are missing out".

Tavros slowly peeped through his eye lids and when he did he let out a scream. The pale walls of the surroundings buildings, the ugly green benches and the tree were blurring together in his mind as the wheelchair whirled past them.

"GAMZEE!" He cried out at the top of his lungs. He felt a rush of adrenaline fill his stomach and set his heart racing. The wheelchair shook underneath him as the wheels flew over the bumps and cracks in the bricks. Behind him, Gamzee let out a wolf like howl into the air, followed by another chorus of insane laughter. Tavros felt gravity pin him back against the leather seat as Gamzee supported his weight on the back of the chair, holding himself up off the ground. He leaned dangerously to the side, causing the chair to angle itself. They rounded the tree at break neck speed and the chair plummeted down the footpath, heading straight towards the automatic glass doors that lead to the main lobby.

"Hold on tight motherfucker!" There was no point in trying to fight it. It wasn't like Tavros could get paralysed twice right? Tavros's knuckles turned white as he gripped onto the chair for dear life. The doors raced up towards them and Gamzee showed no sign of stopping. The smaller teenager braised himself, imagining colliding with the doors and shattering with them into a million pieces. He squeezed his eyes shut and waited for the crash, if not into the door then into the front desk.

There was a shrill squeal, a roar of laughter and finally, the violent high pitched scream of the wheels sliding along the polished floor. Tavros wasn't sure if the scream came from him or the receptionist, but as the chair narrowly missed the glass and burst into the lobby, he knew he wasn't the only one who was going to be shocked. The chair didn't stop there though. It swerved violently to the left. The world spun before Tavros's eyes, turning the room into a haze. He remembered calling out Gamzee's name when he felt his heart lurch, the chair tipping in mid-flight.

Tavros was thrown from the wheelchair, his body making a useless attempt to stop himself from falling. Strangely enough, the first thing he came into a flying contact with was not the floor. Instead, he felt his back crash into something metal. The air was forced out of his lungs when his body fell to the ground. That wasn't the end of it though. Tavros threw his hands over his head when something heavy let out a creek and fell forward, smacking over his body. There was a chorus of shouting, people crying out for help and some groaning in pain but Tavros could barely hear them. Everything sounded far away, like he was listening to a conversation underwater from the surface.

"Tav…"

A voice, not far, practically in his ear muttered his name.

"Tavbro"

He stirred. His body ached and his head swam. He blinked his eyes open, staring into blackness. For a moment he had a slight panic attack, the idea of going blind stuck him like a pin.

"Motherfucker…" Gamzee's rumble of a voice became clearer. "That was…"

"Gamzee?" Tavros squeaked. He couldn't place where he was, or what was happening. This was a feeling he had only had once before, the feeling of fear and terror mixed with relief that he was still alive. The last time he had that feeling he couldn't walk. He could only pray that the past wasn't going to repeat itself.

"Motherfucking amazing bro. Let's go again" Gamzee didn't sound distressed, if anything, he sounded absolutely chuffed. Tavros twitched his fingers, then his forearm, his shoulders followed, then his neck, head and then down to his chest, his stomach, hips. His lips curled into a grin. Everything was working… well sort of.

"You are a psycho Gamzee" He flinched, his hands curling up over his face when a sudden burst of light hit his eyes. He waited, taking a few moments to adjust before blinking his eyes open again. He took in the view of the hospital ceiling, staring up at an overhanging light. He turned his head in Gamzee's direction. He was lying out flat next to him, his arms spread beside him and his chest rising and falling in a rapid pace. Gamzee's body was littered with towels, similar to the ones Tavros had in his own bathroom. Slowly, Gamzee tilted his head to look back at Tavros. At that moment, they just lay there, desperately trying to catch their breath. Soon, they both found themselves smiling back at each other and then giggling, laughing for no reason.

"Gamzee Makara and Tavros Nitram!" A nurse that Tavros didn't recognise buzzed around them, followed by a crowed more. They worked frantically around them, calling out for help and fussing over them. Tavros didn't care though. He felt he was in a bubble, not alone this time. Gamzee lay with him in the after haze of adrenaline, giggling like idiots and simply enjoying the mess. It wasn't until he felt a set of strong hands wrench him away, yank him aggressively into reality, Tavros was snapped into reality.

"Mr Nitram?"

"Are you okay?"

"Can you hear me?"

Tavros stumbled over his words, blinking hurriedly and struggling to collect himself. His body was placed back down, propped up right back in his chair.

"I turn my back for 5 minutes and this is the result" Tavros's eyes widened.

"Ms Kanaya?" He glanced up at her. She stood over him, her arms folded across her chest and drumming on her elbows. The look on her face sent a new jolt of fear through him. Now he had a real reason to be scared.

"Utter one more word and I will break your fingers" Her voice was calm, emotionless and horrifying. Tavros didn't have to look back at her to know she was staring daggers into the back of his head. Instead, he glanced over his shoulder, trying to place his friend. The lobby had become far too crowded with nurses to make out the gangly teenager. Not a word was uttered between Tavros and his carer until they reached the confines of the elevator.

"Define your relationship with Mr. Gamzee Makara." Kanaya's voice didn't give away her expression. Tavros raised an eyebrow at the question. As if the answer wasn't blatantly obvious.

"Friends… just uh… friends." The question, out of all the ones that she could have asked, threw Tavros off. He bit down on his bottom lip and drummed his fingers on his knees. The silence was tense, almost suffocatingly so.

"Ms Maryam? About Gamzee… what is… uh… what is wrong with him? He never really… uh…he avoids the question."

Kanaya paused. The teenager looked up at her as she sought out the correct words for her explanation.

"He will end up hurting you, Tavros," Kanaya warned him. Tavros didn't show any signs of dropping the topic so she let out an audible sigh. "Mr Makara has been living at the hospital longer than I have been employed here. He is stationed on Floor 6… the terminal cases ward."

"So… he has..?"

"Mr Makara has a type of melanoma found in the soft tissue of the brain."

The elevator chimed when they reached the 4th floor. She wheeled him down the hallway towards his room. "It is caused by abnormal growth of cells in the brain. His condition is…fragile." Kanaya placed her hand on his shoulder, squeezing it in that comforting way.

Tavros could have said anything at the moment. He could have asked, "How long left?" Or he could have said nothing at all.

Instead, he chose to say; "He is so happy."

"Yes, he is quite strange, isn't he?"


	3. Another

"Come on, Tavbro."

"Uh…no, Gamzee."

"Please…?"

"Stop it…"

"Pretty please, motherfucker?"

"No, Gamzee!"

Due to Kanaya's absence, Tavros was stuck in bed for the day. He had no motivation to get into his wheelchair on his own and none of the other carers were qualified to move him. He had rung the receptionist at Gamzee's ward to pass on the message that there was no point in going down to the rehabilitation unit today. He didn't expect that in less than 30 minutes later, Gamzee was striding through the door to his room, holding a plastic container under his arm. Tavros was alright with the gangly teenager barging into his room. He was also okay with having him climb onto the opposite end of the mattress. Although, when he started waving sharp metal instruments under his nose, he felt it was time to speak up.

"You can't be… uh… serious, Gamzee." Tavros watched in horror as his friend held the needle out just in front of his face. The sharp head made Tavros cringe whenever it pointed at him.

"Come on bro. It won't hurt a bit. Trust me."

"The last time I, uh, trusted you… we slammed into a towel, uh, trolley. Kanaya is still…uh…real mad."

"Have some faith in me, motherfucker," Gamzee pleaded with a quick roll of his eyes. He was lying back on Tavros's bed, his legs crossed against Tavros's and his elbows propping him up. "I've done it before, see?" He shifted to support himself on one elbow and pulled up his black T-shirt. The fabric slid up his skin on his stomach, exposing his pale torso and, more importantly, the titanium ring on his belly button.

"I…I…I know." Tavros's eyes made a direct line to it. He had seen the piercing before but it seemed to make no difference. He couldn't help but feel slightly fascinated by the silver ring resting against his skin. Gamzee followed his gaze and reached forward, taking Tavros's hand and placing it over his stomach. He held his fingers against the ring, wetting his lips and smirking up at Tavros.

"It's fine," Gamzee murmured.

He let go of Tavros, leaving his hand sitting on his chest lamely. Tavros would have pulled his hand away, would have gotten flustered and panicked, but he saw no reason to. Gamzee said it was 'fine', which to him was enough permission. The room grew tensely silent as Tavros curled his hand around the silver ring. He slipped index finger through the hoop, turning it over and scraping the pad of his finger against the layer of skin holding it in place. He glanced up at Gamzee, surveying his reaction. The teenager's eyes were half closed and his head was tilted back to stare blankly at the ceiling. He let out long puffs of air but didn't appear to be uncomfortable.

Tavros placed his warm palms against Gamzee's sharp hips and slid them up onto his stomach. Gamzee inhaled sharply as Tavros's two thumbs tugged at the skin around the ring, watching it move with the stretch. Tavros took one hand and let four of his fingers glide over the ring, his fingernails clinking against the metal as he went. It was hypnotic, watching the rise and fall of the other boy's stomach and the ring glint in the warm light of the overhanging globe. Tavros stilled his hands, pressing his palms against Gamzee's stomach as its owner began to sit up. A pale hand looped around his own and brought them up. Their knees pressed together on the mattress and Gamzee's face hovered so close he could feel his breath crash against his skin.

Tavros sat still, virtually pinned to his place by Gamzee's gaze. He watched as Gamzee brought his hand to his lips and kissed his knuckles. This time, his lips lingered on his skin, taking their time to soak up the moment. The scene reminded Tavros of those old Disney movies he would watch with his little sister, when the prince would kiss the princess on the hand at first meet. This wasn't prince charming though, this was Gamzee. Gamzee, whose intentions were never quite clear, was kissing him. He wanted to say something, try to stop him from going any further. When Gamzee took the silence as an invitation to proceed he leaned in, kissing Tavros's cheek.

"Uh…" It was a pitiful sound, a mix between a gasp and a whimper. Gamzee smirked into the next kiss, placing a soft warm heat to the space bellow Tavros's lip this time. "Stop it, Gamzee."

For a few seconds, the sound of Tavros's heart thrumming in his chest was the loudest thing in the room. He caught hold of Gamzee's shoulder, his arms trembling roughly down to his palms. He kept his hands firm, ready to shove Gamzee away. His eyes shot open when Gamzee began to laugh.

"It's not…funny." A light blush graced his cheeks, and he glared back at his friend. "Seriously."

Gamzee, ignoring his friend's warning, sat forward on the mattress and cupped his palms over Tavros's cheeks. He yanked Tavros forward and crushed his lips to his forehead, making an awfully squishy 'mwah' sound. He repeated the action twice, landing one on his nose and then under his eye. Tavros could only squirm during the invasion of smooshy kisses, shoving his hands against Gamzee's chest.

"Gamzee! Eww…! Stop it!" he moaned, with difficulty. Gamzee's palms pushed his cheeks inward, forcing his mouth to scrunch up. Tavros reached up and placed a hand over Gamzee's face and shoved him back. The thin teen complied and parted his lips. His tongue licked a slobbery line up his friend's palm. With a tiny yelp of surprise, Tavros yanked his hand back, wiping it frantically on his shirt. "Gross…"

Gamzee flopped back and cackled like a lunatic, causing the mattress to tilt. Tavros bit down hard on his lip and bent forward, sending a rough shove into Gamzee's side. The pale boy curled his arms over his stomach and giggled, beaming up at Tavros's burning face. He sat up groggily, his shoulders sagging and his expression morphing into a dopey grin.

Tavros drew his palm over his cheeks and smudged away the damp patches left behind. He felt utterly speechless, he lips hanging open uselessly. His eyes followed Gamzee as he raised his hand, holding up a finger.

"Just one, motherfucker." His voice was completely sincere. Tavros edged himself back on the mattress, trying to create some space between them. His skin prickled underneath Gamzee's lazy gaze. He swallowed, his throat tingling raw.

"Gamzee… are you…?" The rest of the question hung suspended in the air. The answer was painted all over the teens face, mixed in with the grey and white face paint. A shaky breath escaped Tavros's lips. Despite Gamzee's calm demeanour, Tavros felt like a fly trapped in a spider's web. His mind raced, his thoughts tumbling over each other and scrambling into place. To Tavros, he never had time to concern himself with his identity or who he was as a person; although he was sure that he was straight. He had kissed girls, and enjoyed it, but there was something about the pale, deranged teenage boy sitting across from him that made his stomach do somersaults.

The fact that Gamzee was awaiting Tavros's answer suddenly became apparent. Tavros's first instinct was to panic, to tell Gamzee to bugger off and that he wasn't interested. That wasn't how it played out, though. Integrity and persistence was not part of Tavros's personality and they most likely never will be. Whether or not Gamzee knew that and was using it to his advantage no longer seemed important when Tavros looked back up at him.

"Just one?" Gamzee pressed the pad of his index finger to the space bellow Tavros's chin.

"Just one." He promised.

"Just… one. And only one… okay?"

And with nothing left to be said, Gamzee's fingers coiled around Tavros's chin, bringing him in. The space between them evaporated as Gamzee's lips cupped his friend's. His first kiss was at the school dance, just a random clash of heat that only lasted a few minutes. It was awkward, unco-ordinated and simply done because that was what everyone was expecting. This kiss, however, was done out of something more than just a few seconds of curiosity.

Tavros barely registered it when Gamzee slid his palm up over his cheek and let his fingers curl, scraping gently against his skin. The sensation of his friends tongue, on the other hand, slipping forward to slide against his bottom lip sent a jolt through his body. Reaching up, Tavros caught hold of Gamzee's hand and held it tight. Every situation had limits and boundaries; the problem with this one was the fact that Tavros couldn't decide where to draw the line.

A groan, that is all it took for Tavros to become completely compliant. He parted his lips obediently, allowing Gamzee access and giving him what he wanted. In a matter of seconds, the kiss had gone from gentle, as if Gamzee was afraid he would break Tavros if he applied too much pressure, to something avid. Tavros forced himself to relax, slacking his jaw and allowing Gamzee more space. A shiver crawled up his spine when he felt the clash of heat pool in his mouth.

Tavros grabbed at the dark mass of hair in front of him, sinking through the matted tuffs and feeling it slide between his fingers. His lungs were burning, frantic for air. With a tug, he managed to separate himself in time for a long breath. His eyes remained closed, his head far too groggy to think. The hand on his cheek stroked his flushed skin with its thumb and its owner gave a sigh. Finally, when Tavros opened his eyes again, he stared back at his friend. Gamzee was waiting patiently, lightly stroking the side of Tavros's face.

"Tavros?"

"Uh… yeah Gamzee?"

The scrawny teenager tilted his head, angling his lips to brush over Tavros's, and muttered, "Just one more, motherfucker."

He banged his fist against the side of the machine.

"Oh shit."

He tried again, applying more force to it this time but no prevail. The Reeces packet hung from the final hook, suspended from falling to the bottom of the machine.

"Dammit" Tavros groaned. He slapped his palm over the glass once more for good measure. "God dammit." He wasn't sure what to blame; his feeble arms or the vending machine that was taunting him.

"Want some help with that?" Her hair was tucked up behind her face in a neat, orderly pony tail that spouted behind her head in sharp brown strands. Her expression was calm, not friendly but certainly not frightening. He could feel her gaze pierce through him from underneath a set of black sunglasses.

"Uh… No thanks, I got it"

She rolled her eyes dramatically. "Sure you do."

The girl stepped around to the side of the machine and raised her arm. Her palm slammed into the side of the machine with such a force that is tilted to the left. It came thundering back, its entire frame shaking. Tavros couldn't hide his shock. A fact he heard about vending machines killing more people than sharks in a year flashed up in his mind. He watched her swing her arm down, slip her hand through the slot and come back up with the orange packet. She raised it to her blue painted lips and tore the top off. The girl let one of the candies fall into her palm before tossing it back to Tavros. It landed neatly in his lap with a quiet thud.

"Oh…thank-you?"

She placed the chocolate on the end of her tongue and sucked it in. She wore a pale gown that long term patients used frequently and her feet were enclosed around black Ugg boots. A black leather jacket hung over her shoulders, concealing one of her arms strapped down by a bandage and sling.

"So… you recognise me yet?" The tall girl leaned against the side of the machine.

"I'm sorry… no." Her voice was familiar but he couldn't quite put a name to the face.

She nodded, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her air. "Does this help?" She raised her hand, blue nails coiling around the sunglasses and lowering them from her eyes. As soon as Tavros spied what lay underneath, it became very clear who she was. He glanced up at the one metallic blue eye peering back at him through heavy black eye liner.

"Yeah, I'm Vriska, the girl who threatened to beat you to a pulp."

"Oh!" Like the flick of a switch, Tavros was instantly tense. His eyes darted nervously from her face to his fingers, watching them drum nervously on his thigh. "I didn't… uh…you look…I-I-I was just uh…"

"Calm down, wheels," she smirked, flashing a row of snowy teeth. "You look like you are about to piss yourself."

Tavros shot up straight in the chair and put on a stern expression that wasn't fooling anyone. "I-I-I am not!"

She merely replied by laughing at his rather flustered childish remark. It was a high pitched sound, not elegant and refined like Kanaya's or not like a character from a slasher film like Gamzee's. It reminded him of the bell sitting on the front desk, its chime perfectly clear. The corners of Tavros's lips pulled up. He grinned up at her. Vriska's face was sweet when she smiled. The endearing grin slid off her face like ice on a roof. Her gaze snapped down to him sharply.

"What are you staring at?" Vriska snapped.

"Oh!" Tavros caught himself. "Nothing… nothing…" He fixed his eyes on the orange packet on his lap. His fingers scrambled around, grabbing up one of the candies and shoving it into his mouth.

Vriska glared down at him over his nose. She lifted the sunglasses up to the bridge of her nose and slid them back, masking her eyes once again.

"Yeah, well…anyway." Her voice had softened slightly but it still maintained its prickly edge. "I didn't come down here just to stand around and talk to you all afternoon."

Tavros cocked his head up at her. His shoulders slackened when he noticed that her gaze was on the underside of her finger nails. "Then…what's…uh…"

"Let me finish!" She barked. Tavros did. He pressed his lips into a tight line. "Like I was saying, I came down here to tell you that there are no hard feelings"

"You mean when…"

She let out a groan and pressed her closed fist to her side. Vriska leaned forward, her pony tail swinging off her shoulders and pointing to the floor. "Bloody hell, Stutters, let me speak!"

Tavros ignored the nick name and nodded. "Look. I am just here to tell you that I forgive you for nearly running me over, friend"

Now that was a turn of events.

"Yeah…that was just a…"

"An accident." She stepped forward, placing a hand on Tavros's mohawk. Tavros flinched slightly when he felt his hair being tussled through her slim fingers. She smirked. "A pure accident. Though don't let it happen again. Because if you do, I will rip whatever you have left working there clean off." She spared a quick glance to his lap before plucking her hand back. Like a chain reaction, Tavros's cheeks burned. With a spin of her heels, she stuffed her hands into her pockets and sauntered away. Vriska didn't bother turning around when she called over her shoulder.

"Later, shithead."

Tavros held up a palm to wave goodbye but by that time, Vriska had disappeared down the corridor, long brown pony tail and all. He sat there, leaning back in his chair, the candies on his lap slowly melting. He couldn't piece it together.

"So…she followed me down here…to tell me we are, uh, friends…eat my candy…and then, uh, threaten me." Tavros gripped hold of the hair at the top of his head, pushing it back into place. The female species was something that was always a mystery, though Tavros was pretty sure that this was a new case of femininity. His body practically melted back into his chair.

"Girls are weird…" he muttered as he began rolling.

The chair jittered in the opposite direction, making its way clumsily towards the elevator. Although the equation that Vriska left behind didn't add up, Tavros kept his mind focused on one factor; that she called him 'friend'.

Tavros was still grinning to himself when the doors chimed and slid open. The thought tingled in the pit of his stomach, sending warmth up his chest. The teenager was so caught up in his own thoughts he didn't notice that he wasn't alone in the elevator.

"Hello, motherfucker."

Gamzee boarded his lap, shoving the candies off and letting them spill out on the floor. Two legs planted themselves snuggly around his waist as Gamzee lowered himself down onto his thighs. Tavros felt a set of hands coil around his shirt collar, tugging him forward.

"Gam-!" He was cut off, silenced by the other's mouth covering his own. It seemed like in a blink of an eye, Gamzee was everywhere, smothering every one of his senses. When Tavros's hands grabbed for a lifeline, they tangled in the soft, dark fabric of Gamzee's hoodie. When he took a breath in, the smell the sting of face paint and the sharp scent of hospital disinfectant swirled down his body and tickled his nerves. His mouth was overwhelmed with the taste of artificial flavouring, something warm and sweet and the slippery mess that followed. Buried underneath each of these crushing textures was the little factor that made induced the moan to buzz in the back of Tavros's throat.

Gamzee's tongue traced to the back of his mouth, exploring every nook and cranny until he came around to the centre. Tavros's eyes rolled back underneath his eyelids when he felt the heat in his mouth curl around his tongue. Just as suddenly as the invasion began, it ended. The warmth in his mouth was stolen away, leaving a delightful prickling sensation raw on Tavros's lips.

"Hello…" Tavros breathed out. Once he remembered to open his eyes, he found himself staring directly down into dull slate-grey pools. Gamzee sat back on Tavros's lap, resting his hands over the arm rests. His response was a quick parting of his lips. The half melted peanut butter cup sat proudly on the end of the other teenagers tongue. He sucked it back into his mouth and swallowed it whole, a lump sliding down that pale neck.

"So… about that piercing, motherfucker…"

Tavros gulped.

_Sure, girls are weird._

_But guys are weirder._


	4. Complication

_Love is true friendship set on fire. _

It had always sounded stupid, not matter which way it was put.

Mushy, awkward, stupid romance with a crummy hint of friendship.

As if it would make the entire wibbly wobbly crazy rollercoaster ride any more understandable. They weren't boyfriends. Whenever Tavros thought of the word he cringed. He couldn't call them 'friends with benefits' either, because he had never been interested in that sort of relationship; let alone with a guy.

Lovers? Not yet. Aside from Gamzee's wandering hands the topic had never arisen, and to be honest, Tavros felt like it was a more threatening issue than he let on. The awful turn of phrase was really the only way the disabled teenager could describe it.

Everything stayed the same between them. There were no pet names, or idle trades of personal facts or uncomfortable dates. They would sit together, in the rehab ward, or in Tavros's room, and talk, laugh, make up terrible rap songs and then…

It would always begin with a quick brush of lips. Gamzee never did this when anyone had their eyes on them. This made Tavros consider himself lucky that he could practically disappear in a crowd. On the other hand, this made all exchanges of affection brief. Kanaya, like all carers should, watched Tavros like a hawk when she was on duty. Her charge had a suspicion that she did it in fear of having to relive Gamzee taking Tavros's chair for a joy ride.

Now was one of those times where they didn't have to worry about being spotted. The blinds were drawn and the room was dully lit. The only light was the simmering flashes of colour spouting from the TV mounted on the wall across from Gamzee's bed.

"_For long the two enemies looked at one another, Hook shuddering slightly, and Peter with the strange smile upon his face._

_"So, Pan," said Hook at last, "this is all your doing."_

_"Ay, James Hook," came the stern answer, "it is all my doing."_

Tavros swiped the tip of his tongue along the pad of his finger and he flicked the page over. He sat with his legs propped up and positioned to sit cross legged in front of the head of the bed. Gamzee slouched back, hardly paying attention to the book. His feet sat at Tavros's sides, prodding him in the waist every now and again. Their plans to meet in the court yard didn't happen that day. Gamzee's hand was propped up on a pile of pillows, cords held down with tape jutting from his skin. Tavros ignored the occasional clicking of the drip by the side of the bed and continued on reading.

_"Proud and insolent youth," said Hook, "prepare to meet thy doom."  
For long the two enemies looked at one another, Hook shuddering slightly, and Peter with the strange smile upon his face.  
"Dark and sinister man," Peter answered, "have at thee."_

Reading to Gamzee wasn't really Tavros's idea of a thrilling, wild, Saturday afternoon, but after only getting through three pages while constantly being berated, he gave up. Gamzee's head lolled and his eyes drooped. Tavros would have pointed out by now that he wasn't even slightly interested in _Peter Pan_ by now if he wasn't so wrapped up in the telling of his favourite story. The impatient teen opposite him had different plans though.

The book was knocked out of Tavros's hands by a foot sliding its way along the covers.

"If you didn't want me to read to you then, uh… why did you make me in the first place?" he grumbled.

Gamzee shrugged. "Got boring."

"Peter Pan isn't boring. It is one of my, uh… favourite stories."

"Tell me another one, motherfucker."

"I'm not your…slave."

"Please, Tavbro?"

It was becoming harder and harder for Tavros to refuse his cancer-inflicted snog-mate.

"I don't… uh… have any others."

Gamzee wasn't convinced.

"We both know that's not true." He cocked his head on an angle. "Tell me yours."

"Mine?"

With a quick grunt, Gamzee straightened up and bent his back, slouching forward. He grabbed up Tavros's tanned wrist and turned his hand over, bringing a short kiss to his palm. Like learning how to dance, Tavros began to adjust to his friend's affectionate touches and take his lead. It became a natural reflex to respond with another exchange of kisses or gentle strokes. As time went on, Tavros began to slide into place with Gamzee like a puzzle piece.

"How did you lose your legs, motherfucker?"

It wasn't an alien question, but there was no getting used to it. Every time he got asked, he felt the air catch in his lungs for a few seconds. "Oh… that story…"

Gamzee turned Tavros's hand over and dragged his lips up one of his fingers, stopping to place a gentle peck to his knuckle.

"Tell me that story," he demanded.

There was no arguing with Gamzee. Tavros knew it was a dangerous habit to have, but he never really could deny him.

"You, uh, really want to know?"

A hand placed itself in the centre of his chest and guided Tavros down. He let himself be pushed back so he was lying back against the mattress before his friend. Tavros lifted his head, gazing over his chest and watching Gamzee manoeuver his legs. He didn't feel it when Gamzee spread them out on either side of him and slotted into the space between them. Gamzee let his knee glide up between Tavros's thighs as he pressed his chest down onto the smaller boy beneath him. Tavros didn't even have time to panic, his racing mind interrupted by a gravelly voice.

"Hell yeah."

Gamzee settled his chin in the ridge of Tavros's collar bone, his lazy smirk staring the other down.

A long stream of air escaped from Tavros's lungs and he forced himself to relax. Gamzee's good hand was resting under his chin and the other was dangling off the side of the metal frame. The fact that the teen above him was hooked up to a machine was enough to induce Tavros out of a full scale panic attack.

"Okay… about…uh… a year or so ago…my parents started fighting."

Tavros kept eyes fixed on the ceiling, watching the fan above them spin. The memories he had built up a barrier to keep them from flooding in slowly edged their way back. He felt Gamzee wiggle up closer, so his nose was poking into his cheek as he spoke.

"I'm not sure about what… but uh… they had been for a while. There were lawyers and arguments over… adult stuff I suppose."

He paused, waiting for some response. He wasn't going to relive the tragic moments of his life if Gamzee wasn't going to listen. When he got a tiny 'mhm' and a push of lips against his skin, Tavros continued.

"When it all came down to…me and my sis…things got a little out of hand. We knew our folks were getting a split…we just never thought we would, uh…be something they fought over."

Above him, Gamzee continued to make little invasions of kisses. Only when he traced his way down to Tavros's neck, he felt the warmth of his tongue added in. Tavros let his eyes drift closed, a shiver jolting up his spine at the sensation. He let his head tilt against the sheets, allowing Gamzee a freer roam.

"My mum… I remember her saying something, um… about how Dad couldn't even look after himself, let alone us… I still don't understand that part. I mean… he gave up drinking when my sis was born…" The thought that he was getting far too personal with Gamzee flew by at break-neck speed. It really didn't seem like an issue when he felt the scrape of teeth added to the assault on his throat. Tavros chewed his lip and coiled his arms around the thin waist pressed into his.

"Anyway… Mum took us. She said she wasn't going to wait around…for something bad to happen. Kinda ironic… when you uh… think about it."

A sharp hiss escaped from Tavros's clenched jaw. Gamzee's tongue prodded a freshly formed red imprint on the base of his neck, followed by nip and tug of teeth clamping over skin.

"Oh… shit!"

A rumble of laughter sent a gentle vibration down his collar.

"Go on…"

Gamzee shifted, angling his body so he was directly atop him. His mouth trailed lower, making quick work of mapping out Tavros's clavicle. Heat pooled around the dips in his bones, distracting the teenager from his story.

"It was…raining…full on pouring down outside, when… ah… mum got us in the car."

This was the part where Tavros felt the far too familiar kick in the stomach. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, grabbed up a fistful of Gamzee's shirt and took in a few deep breaths. The sinking feeling in his chest was being smothered out, replaced by the delightfully prickling and burning sensation left behind by Gamzee's mouth.

"I was… in the back seat… when the car skidded…"

The rest was pretty self-explanatory.

The younger of the two whimpered when he felt the loss of contact. Gamzee propped himself up on his elbow, drawing in Tavros's eyes open with his own. The corner of his grey lips curled and his eyes were slack.

"Car accident," he stated before leaning down, capturing Tavros's lips in the kindest of ways he had ever done before, like Tavros was made out of glass.

"Your sister?" he murmured.

"Macy's fine… yeah...broken arm…cuts. Mum… well… she's always feeling guilty about it."

This time, it was Tavros who pushed a kiss to Gamzee's lips. The only way he thought possible of fighting of the sick feeling that always followed the end of this story was to replace it was the high he got from the other teenager fitted around him. Gamzee obliged, meeting Tavros's lips with a swipe of his tongue. With Gamzee sucking blatantly on his tongue and his hand grasping at the back of his neck, it was hard for Tavros to focus on anything else. Somewhere in the back of his mind, the images replayed themselves. The searing light of headlights racing towards him, the ceiling of an ambulance and the one that he never could shake, his Dad's face hovering over him, shouts forming into his name.

Gamzee rolled his hips, pushing down his pelvis onto Tavros. Whatever horror that was retelling itself was erased from his mind. Like every other teenage boy, hormones swarmed his body and left him with his head snapped back and his mouth morphed into the shape of an 'O'.

"Gam-zee!"

Tavros was panting, his rising and falling at a tremendous speed. Smirking eyes met his.

"Oh… so you _can_ feel somethin' down there," Gamzee purred into Tavros's ear, taking his ear lobe between his teeth. He repeated the action, thrusting himself against the younger boy. The friction between them was maddening. Tavros knew exactly what it was that was making his trousers uncomfortably tight. He was very well aware that Gamzee shared this factor.

"Y-yeah… yes, of course."

The blood rushed from his head and down his body, making all thoughts a struggle. Mechanically, Tavros held tight to Gamzee's back. It was funny how the sensation was so overbearing, but so minimal at the same time. Another gasp was forced out of him when Gamzee began to rut, rocking himself back and forth. Every other word that fell from Tavros's lips was incoherent muttering from then on.

Gamzee buried his face into the crook of his neck, dragging lethargic kisses up his skin. Tavros felt the palm against his throat slip, mapping out his shoulders and then to the bridge of his chest. The younger teen unravelled his arms from around Gamzee, letting them fall languidly behind his head. His body melted away underneath his friend's hand, shuddering as it passed over his stomach and down towards his waist line.

"Gamzee…"

Tavros supported his torso on his elbows so he could stare down at the boy draping his chest. Gamzee lifted his head, his pupils fully blown. His jaw hung slack, the edge of his tongue sliding from the tip of his lips. He lifted himself on his good hand, maintaining the non-existent space between them.

"Stop fucking teasing…"

Their eyes connected and like a chain reaction, they both shared the same slack grin. Tavros caught his breath as he pushed up, circling his arms around Gamzee's neck and bringing their lips together and pulling him back down onto the mattress.

The door slammed.

The puppy-love grin on Tavros's face was smacked clean off and his entire body froze. He felt like a child being caught in the act of stealing a cookie. His natural instincts made his frame freeze in place, not even daring to move a muscle. Unlike his partner, Gamzee didn't have the same opinion. He didn't break his eager rutting pace or the onslaught of kisses he tracked on Tavros's lips for a second. It was as if the third person in the room was mere fly perched on the wall. The situation could end one of two ways from then on. Either whoever it was could get flustered and leave in silence, or they could just stand there in total silence and confusion. Unlucky for Tavros, his carer wasn't the type to do either.

"Pardon me, but may I interrupt?"

Tavros squirmed, dropping his arms from Gamzee's body and attempting to shove him off. Gamzee merely made a disappointed grunt when he felt the palms push against his shoulders and moved his lips down onto Tavros's neck.

Tavros soon found his voice.

"Gamzee… get off of me."

A fierce blush formed in his cheeks, scorching right through his skin. He curled his little hands over Gamzee's sleeves and gave another yank. Panic charged through him when he heard Kanaya's footsteps grow louder as she approached.

"Please…" he added weakly.

At last, Gamzee took the message. He separated his lips from Tavros's and sat back, sitting up on his lap and casting a glare to a corner of the room.

"Mr Makara, I will have to ask you to remove yourself from my patient."

Kanaya's voice hovered behind Tavros's head, most likely near where his wheelchair was parked at the end of the bed.

From below him, Tavros watched the once pleasant smile on Gamzee's face twist and turn into a scowl. The side of his mouth was hoisted up, exposing his bared teeth. The look on his face did not suit the usually over-calm teenager. Tavros shifted, wiggling his hips and using his arms to pull himself as far back as he could. With the new gap between them, he was able to watch his two friends glower daggers into each other.

"Gamzee…"

Tavros's voice lifted the tension.

"Could you… uh… get off my legs please?"

He flinched violently when Gamzee snapped his head in his direction. The pale teenager's eyebrows were knitted close together and his eyes were narrowed. To Tavros, it was the most threatening face he had ever seen.

A sound erupted from inside the dominating teenager, a mix between a groan and a growl. He shifted, recoiling back and returning to where he had recently been sitting. During the entire process, his eyes never left Tavros's. The 15 year old felt completely and utterly locked into place. He was finally detached when Kanaya's arms circled around him, lifting him from the bed and into his chair. He allowed her to fuss over him, letting her slot his legs back into place and unclasp the breaks on the chair. Tavros eyed Gamzee, who glanced away.

Behind the grey paint, the thin boy was wearing a pouting face, similar to one of a child's who didn't get what he wanted from a toy store. Gamzee refused to look in his direction, focusing his eyes on the foot of the bed.

"I'll see you later, okay?"

Tavros reached up, brushing his hand over Gamzee's forearm. The little touch brought Gamzee back, turning his attention back to Tavros.

"Later, motherfucker…"

A quick kiss was traded between them, which was coarsely interrupted by Kanaya pushing the wheelchair forward.

Tavros didn't get a chance to look back when he heard another displeased snarl emit from his friend.

* * *

"Gamzee Makara.

Out of all the patients in the entire hospital, it had to be Gamzee Makara."

Kanaya paced back and forth across the room, her arms folded. Her emerald eyes never left Tavros.

"Miss Maryam…"

"Gamzee. Makara. Gamzee 'deranged lunatic, predatory scoundrel' Makara."

"Miss…"

She held up a finger. "No, no, no. I have not completed my rant! First of all, why? Why him? He will hurt you, Tavros. You know that. Secondly, how? And thirdly, what were you thinking?"

After escorting Tavros from Gamzee's ward in record breaking time, Kanaya had left him in his room alone for the rest of the afternoon. He knew she was bound to reappear sometime to speak her mind so he had spent the rest of the evening preparing how he was going to explain himself. However, all his carefully prepared arguments deteriorated when she stormed in at around 8.30pm.

"Please, Miss Maryam… just uh… hear me out."

Her strides came to an eventual stop. She stood across the room, drumming her slender fingers on her forearm.

"Okay, Mr Nitram. Please explain to me why you allowed Gamzee to hump you like some possessive beast at a petting zoo."

Tavros's face flushed. "That is not what it was!"

His voice rose into an octave it never had before.

"I didn't _let_ him, Miss Maryam. I wanted him to!"

He sighed heavily, slouching back into his chair. Kanaya blinked and raised two fingers to her temple, massaging back an oncoming migraine.

"Alright. Okay. Fine. Let's just…take a moment to gather ourselves."

Tavros swallowed dryly and nodded. His hand trailed to the centre of his thigh, his fingers rapping out a random beat. Kanaya pulled out one of the visitors' chairs from Tavros's bedside and dragged it across the floor. Once it was facing across from him, Kanaya sat in that elegant way she always did.

She was the first to speak.

"Perhaps I wasn't clear, when I asked you earlier about your relationship towards Mr Makara."

"No…you were clear." Tavros avoided her gaze. "It's just got a bit…uh…different since then."

"So, not 'just friends'. I understand."

"We aren't boyfriends…if uh…that's what you are thinking," he defended rather protectively. "It's weird…kind of, uh, hard to explain."

"Then don't." Kanaya rested her elbows on each arm over her chair, bringing her fingers together to steeple under her chin.

"I would just prefer it if you would clarify me the, ah, _nature_ of this partnership you have established with him."

Tavros wasn't exactly sure what she was asking him, so he translated her vocabulary into something understandable.

"I'm not, uh…gay or anything…not like Gamzee. I just… I just like having him around. Uh, having him…have me."

He glanced nervously up at Kanaya but her expression remained unreadable. Her head bobbed, cropped black hair swaying around her jaw.

"I do not condone your relationship with Gamzee Makara. Although, I have no particular hatred towards whatever one's preference is, I would prefer it if Gamzee wasn't one of yours. I hope you understand the full consequences of this association. He will hurt you. In the end, he will bring turmoil upon you. You must understand that."

She tucked a lose strand of hair behind her ear before settling her hands into her lap. Although Tavros didn't admit it, he appreciated the fact that there was someone else who he could confine with. Kanaya was the only person in his messed up, spiralling-out-of-control life that he could trust with his relationship matters.

"Do you intend on going public about this? Tavros, you do realise that there are people out there who might not be so accepting of your predicament."

"I don't know, Miss Maryam. I really don't know."

His fingers picked up their pace, drumming out beats in a prompt tempo.

"I didn't want…uh…anything complicated. I like him…a lot. He likes me. I, uh, thought that would be it."

Her Cupid's bow lips curled into a pitying smile.

"In a perfect world, it would be that simple."

Tavros gazed down at his tapping fingers, feeling hollow. He could already predict the next words that were yet to emerge from Kanaya's mouth.

"But this world can hardly be classified as idealistic. You are a paraplegic. Gamzee is a homosexual cancer patient. I'm sorry, Tavros, and I don't mean to rain on your parade, but how could you possibly have thought this would work?"


End file.
